my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad
i dont wanna go to college i wanna go to concerts
One time I was on a rollercoaster and a guy’s hat fell off during one of the loops but he caught it when we were right side up again, and i have to go my whole life knowing I’ll never be as cool as that guy.
GIRLS: if ur at a party and a guy hands you his phone to put ur number into, text REDCROSS to 90999 and he’ll donate $10 to hurricane relief
The English language makes you capitalize ‘I’ and linguists aren’t sure why, but my theory is that it’s out of respect to self. An entire language thinks you are significant enough to commence higher than all other words in a sentence, because ‘I’ is not just a word it is a damn title of a pronoun, so don’t let anyone or anything make you think you’re not important, alright? Because you contradict that every time you talk about yourself.
I hate it when someone is hot and funny like stop that you only get one
(brushes crumbs off bed) yea baby hop on in
E X C U S E M E
YOU ARE E LIST MOTHER FUCKER. IM # FUCKING 1 AND YOURE THROWIN SHADE AT ME??? YOU BETTER FALL THE FUCK BACK WITH YOUR DAD MUSTACHE LOOKIN LIKE YOU HAVIN A MID LIFE CRISIS WEARING SHORTS AND A SNAPBACK. EVEN BLACK MACKLEMORE OVER THERE ON THE LEFT GIVIN THAT SIDE EYE AT YOUR SHITTY OUTFIT. IRRELEVANT ASS BITCH.
Let’s not make it harder than it has to be
~ Girls Chase Boys (Ingrid Michaelson)
hey sup i need an excuse to use this
can i stay at your place? no hobo
What if Daft Punk never breaks up or dies they just hand off their helmets to really amazing musicians that continue making music for them and they just become these immortal beings that no one is really sure who they are anymore they’re just always there
what if this has already happened years ago
she reaches down seductively. I guide her hand to my zipper. she unzips my fanny pack by mistake. raviolis spill out everywhere
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